It takes everything in me not to call you.

I need to get you out of my system.

Can I get a hug?

Actually, nevermind. Cause if I allow you to hug me or even take my hand I would fall apart. I would hug you so tight, I might suffocate you and just wont let you go from the embrace.

But I do need a hug. I’ve been holding myself together for so long. I dont even know how I do it. I dont even know how im still on the edge and just dont fall over. Why cant I just fall over?

Will you allow me to hug you tightly and very long?

When did I become so bitter? When did I start hating the world so much more? When did scars become open wounds again? When did I see the world in such a different view? When did breathing become so hard? When did I become so sad? When did life become a tiresome routine?

What happened?

What happened?…

We all must walk away to allow ourselves to heal..

You were with me when I was most vulnerable, when I was broken that I can’t even..

And still, you keep telling me that you are not here for the happy moments, you are also here for the painful and sad moments and will do this together.

But I think we need time to heal ourselves so that when we see each other again, there won’t be resentments, brokenness, past hurts that still haunts us..

When we see each other again, I hope I won’t feel empty and so broken by the world that I dislike everything there is to love, Because it is God’s creation..

And when I see you, I hope to see you full of life as well, that shines so bright and there won’t be grudges or anger or anything that holds you back.

That we come to realise that everything that God gives us.. is so much more beautiful than any hurt or pain that we had encountered or will be encountering..

So I look forward to seeing you.. But for now, I miss you more than ever..

In the end everyone ends up alone, Losing her, The only one who’s ever known.

I miss your body next to mine, you and I just spending time.

Who would have thought it would end up like this..

Lets take it back before it all went wrong..

Do not forget me.
Do not resent me.
Do not unmiss me.
Do not unlove me.

How awesome is this? My Bestfriend made this video for my birthday. This is so sweet. Thank you. Lovelove~

Do not let the world make you hard..

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

And then you go step to the real world, it’s like you were in this big bubble for so long and when that bubble popped, you see the world in a different way, you find that people can be unforgiving. That they are not as soft as you think. You start to believe less in the saying of ‘see the best in people’, and ‘be slow to anger’.

With the words of God, it help me acccept things not all, one at a time, slowly..

And then I also saw Iain thomas’s post about his life and his writing and about the world.

"It reminds me of who I once was and who I could be again. I let the world make me hard. I let the pain make me hate. I let the bitterness steal my sweetness. I lost my pride and I stopped believing the world could be a beautiful place. Nothing is more important than these things. And while I am away, I am finding these things again. One at a time."

I just have to meditate on God’s words everyday and love people and life. People make it hard but God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him will have everlasting life.

Thanks Iain, too.

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want… a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

People need you. People you love and even people you have never met are depending on you. You matter to God as well. No one else can be the person you were created to be. Do not think for a minute that you are not important; - the world needs you. God needs you.

You matter.

Hebrews 13:5-6 Don’t fall in love with money. Be satisfied with what you have. The Lord has promised that he will not leave us or desert us. That should make you feel like saying, “The Lord helps me! Why should I be afraid of what people can do to me?”

"I think that it is very important if you know what you want, understand where you are heading towards, and try your best to get it. It is only when we use our hearts to do it, and fall in love with what we are doing, then can we really get real determination."