Yums!! From my dear brother and well mother.
Always, krispy kreme. Hahaha
Yey! Mother is back after 5 months of staying in the Phils.
Shes back. Shes back. Lalala.
Ohhhhhh, and the newly renovated airport is amazing though I have one suggestion, like hello, have the walking escalater or something what is it called. Hahaha
Sighs.. This is the first time in the years of us being friends. The first you made me feel so small, so very small. No, not your fault, im pretty sure you don’t even know.
I dont even know, but its this feeling at the pit of your stomach.
Of all the days you were moved to do so. Its lent season.
But yeah, im just going to shake this feeling off. Im sorry. Yeah.
Dear Lord God, embrace me as I try to fall asleep tonight.. You seem to be the only one that can comfort me… I need your grace.. I need your peace.. I need your presence.. Comfort me as I lay here.
I can’t sleep.
I don’t know if I wanna kill myself or lie in bed til I have to stand to face the new day.
How do you survive when everytime you feel like crap? I mean, how do you stay on the edge and not fall off? How do you survive?
It hurts.. And I just want to rip my heart out of chest and examine it. Maybe then I wont get to feel. Feeling everything at once..
Why can’t I have a peaceful lazy sunday? I work 12 hours from monday to saturday. And my only off is sunday. Why can’t my family understand i want a bloodh lazy sunday.
Everyday they judge me. I can’t even show them Im mad or angry or upset or pissed off or fucking miserable.
Everyday I come home with a smile on my face even though I have deal with angry fucking people throughout the day.
Then I come home with my dad being pissed at me. And I can’t even be angry because what is the bloody point when you cant be pissed too because yoi are fucking tired.
What is the bloody point?
Then your sister judges you when you get home. I mean, are you fucking kidding me?
Where ever can you get peace.
And so what if I dont want to bloody talk about how shit my work is? Or how shit my day is?
Not that I dont want to tell them. But what is the point when they dont bloody understand.
Seriously? Whatever go fucking ahead and judge me all you fucking what.
Im so bloody tired. Miserable. Drained.
What more really? Sighs.
Today’s gospel reading— WHY WORRY?
24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27 And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?
28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin;
29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith?
31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’
32 For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.
I don’t know whats worse.
The fact that you maybe, probably resent me now that there is this space between us.
Or you will maybe probably resent me more if we are still in each others lives.
Which is it?
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS BOOK????????!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO READ IT SO BADLY! I HAVENY EVEN READ TIME KEEPER YET.
WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE? WHY ARENT THEY SELLING PAPERBACK? Why hard cover only? THE PROBLEMS OF A GIRL WITH NO FUNDS!!!!
First ever Starbucks in Brunei. Sakai much! Hahahaha.
We all must walk away to allow ourselves to heal..
You were with me when I was most vulnerable, when I was broken that I can’t even..
And still, you keep telling me that you are not here for the happy moments, you are also here for the painful and sad moments and will do this together.
But I think we need time to heal ourselves so that when we see each other again, there won’t be resentments, brokenness, past hurts that still haunts us..
When we see each other again, I hope I won’t feel empty and so broken by the world that I dislike everything there is to love, Because it is God’s creation..
And when I see you, I hope to see you full of life as well, that shines so bright and there won’t be grudges or anger or anything that holds you back.
That we come to realise that everything that God gives us.. is so much more beautiful than any hurt or pain that we had encountered or will be encountering..
So I look forward to seeing you.. But for now, I miss you more than ever..
The Ironic thing about life is.. no one gets out alive
In the end everyone ends up alone, Losing her, The only one who’s ever known.
I miss your body next to mine, you and I just spending time.
Who would have thought it would end up like this..
Lets take it back before it all went wrong..